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Showing posts from October, 2021

Silence as a space of being - After

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keywords: silence, temporal space, being, self, reflection, resistance, communication, creation, disruption, vague In my search, I came across two famous pieces that really center the concept of silence. One of them is John Cage’s 4’ 33’’ which is actually 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence. Second one is Marina Abromovich’s “The Artist is Present” which she sits in silence and faces with audience one-to-one. In these examples, a period of silence has a presence providing a meditative space of self-reflection just like in Zen Buddhism and it is not perceived as absence of “voice” contrasting the conceptualization of feminism. In that context, “voice” belongs to the powerful and others have to break their silence and claim their voice. Instead of repeating this social structure in the attempt of reversing it, there have been the ones that choose “to be in silence”, further “to share their silence” as Fivush argues (Fivush, 2009). This silence can be understood as distancing to fixed d

Silence as a space of being - Before

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keywords: silence, temporal space, disruption, being, self, neutral “...Any fixed claim on realness, especially when it is tied to an identity, also has a finger in psychosis. -Quoting Lacan- ‘If a man who thinks he is a king is mad, a king who is a king is no less so.’” * There has always been an obsession to define things-but also “selves”. After the rise of identity politics, not anyone excluded by power but some groups discriminated in terms of gender, sexuality, race and class have been trying to find different strategies to fight against the power and injustice and one of them has been gaining “visibility” through representations and claiming new definitions. These are very helpful to the people in the discovery of identity and its expression; however, there is a certain point that visibility and existing representations are restrictive, and further tricky in the aspect of surveillance. Identity itself is structured by power and “self” is categorized in definitive boxes. At this

what am I doing? - III

keywords: silence, temporal, space, fluctuation, vague, neutral, being, self-portrait, break, norm, intimacy .. After searching different combinations of my keywords in Google, the result was not so rich and on point but it made me go over the ideas about silence most of them I’m familiar with. So, I am going to start with a cloud of descriptions of silence, some of them are very rigid, some are fluid. Silence is the manner of the “powerful, serious and mysterious man/cool girl” trope.  Silence is something lacking, uncomfortable to many -something to fill in. Silence is a negative space ( Ma as a Japanese concept). A void. Silence is a break in time. A break in music. A chance to hear other voices.  Silence is a state of nothingness and stillness conceptualized in Zen Buddhism thought. Silence is “absence” and “to be silent” is conceptualized as “to be silenced”, “to be not given voice to” in feminist theory . So, in this context, “voice” belongs to the powerful and if you are a m

what am I doing? - II

keywords: silence, fluctuation, being, self-portrait, in-between, space, break, norm, neutral, intimacy . Taking self-portraits has been a reflex for me for the last three years. Placing myself in front of the camera creates a temporal space for me to build my own perception of myself, my body and question the gaze that we’re taught; to just be, which gives a feeling of intimacy that I’ve never felt before. Furthermore, I can see that there is a presence of silence . ... As a silent child,”silence” has always been a concept of my presence. It is generally seen as something to fill in - lacking and uncomfortable contrasting to what I feel. In fact, silence is a place of my realms, other bodies, other realities - somewhere vague and neutral . Having problems with fixations and classifications, I am more into fluctuations of being . Therefore, I see “silence” as an in-between space providing a break from fixed determinations and structured norms . And, I want to dig deeper into the

what am I doing?

This question is always anxiety-inducing for me to answer standing next to who I am. Because I tend not to say “that’s it”. It’s hard to say certain things when you feel a constant brain-fog. I was the “silent” child.  It never bothered me, I liked my own realms in my head keeping them to myself. I could be anybody out of my body. “Silence” was -in a way- my break, a space to just be. A foggy, neutral space. Somebody told me that silence is uncomfortable and lacking -something to fill in. ... The thing is that silence has a presence but it’s fragile. When others’ voices started to get into my realms, it bothered me. It bothered me when their words had the power on me speculating who I am. It bothers me when somebody throws definitions, categorizations to the ones who are silenced or keeping distance, when bodies are seen as a realm to be commented on and an object to the gaze. I hated that our identities are structured in fixed determinations. I liked the fluctuating nature of being, t